As I sat in our church service a few weeks ago, our pastor said something that made my heart ache. “What do you have against God,” he said. The reference may have not been directed at me, but the question sure felt like it was. The thoughts in my mind pounded against my brain like a drum. I thought I had worked past it but that question-that question only brought to my attention that I was still struggling with it. Still not trusting him. Still mad at him. I had something against God.
Almost 2 years ago exactly I felt as though my dreams were shattered. To some it may seem petty, to me it was everything. Things had changed financially and I just wasn’t able to continue being a stay at home mom anymore. The one thing I longed for my whole life. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would make up an answer to please them but in my heart I knew what I really wanted to do was be a wife and a mom. I wanted to stay home and take care of my family. To me it was so much more than cooking and cleaning and so on. It was being a support, spending quality time with each other, creating memories, never missing any event no matter how small and serving them.
After our first daughter was born I went back to work after maternity leave. It was pure agony. The thought of leaving my newborn baby was a struggle in its self. Luckily, I worked swings at the time and comforted myself by remembering she would be sleeping while I was away and have no recollection of me leaving for work. Once she was about 6 months old my husband and I decided I could finally quit my job and stay home. I was ecstatic, all my dreams were finally coming true. When we had our second daughter I was on cloud nine. I didn’t have to work throughout my pregnancy nor did I have to leave her and return to work. That is until she was about 1 years old. Things changed and I needed to begin looking for work. At first it was only supposed to be part time and only for about a year. Then the second year went by and here I am going on my third year and full time. Don’t get me wrong I am blessed beyond measure to have the time at home I did have. Some people are not so lucky to even have that experience and time with their children. I have a job that is flexible with my schedule and allows me to only work when the girls are in school. My husband works nights and working opposite shifts is burdensome and less than ideal.
I thought God did this to me. I thought it was his fault my plans didn’t work out. This is what happens when I dare to be happy. To feel content with life. He gave me everything I ever wanted-and then took it all away. These are all lies the enemy bombarded with me with and on a bad day he still does, it is a daily surrender but I have no right to hold these against God. Everyday events happen in our lives. Some are consequences based on our own decisions. Some are out of our control. No matter what happens, God is a good God. Satan wants us to believe otherwise, because if he can harden our hearts against him, who else is there for us to turn to? Who else is there to help us? How can we grow in Christ and love others as he does when we are feeling like God is out to get us and are stuck wallowing in our own self pity. Our flesh is weak but God is our strength. “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us”? (Romans 8:31 NIV)
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us”? (Romans 8:31)
Satan lies vs. God’s truth:
Lie #1: God does not care about you or your dreams.
Truth #1: “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things”? -Romans 8:32 (ESV)
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”-1 Peter 5:7 (ESV)
If God loved us enough and cared for us enough to give up his one and only son, then how could he not care about us and our dreams? Plus he literally tells us he cares for us :)!
Lie #2: God is out to get us.
Truth #2: “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him”!-Matthew 7:11 (NIV)
God does want to give us good things. Does that mean he will give us whatever we want? No, but just like a good father who knows whats best for his children, God does the same-but even better!
Lie #3: I will never be happy.
Truth #3: “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, you will laugh.”-Luke 6:21 (NIV)This verse reminds us even though in this life we will experience difficulty, it will not be like that forever. We can always look forward to the plan God has mapped out for us, because his ways are always better than ours.
Lie #4: God doesn’t hear me.
Truth #4: “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”-1 John 5:14 (ESV)Though it may feel as though the wall is the only thing listening to you, God does listen and hear the prayers of those who cry out to him. Who love him. There is never a moment he turns his ear away.
Lie #5: If it doesn’t happen right now, or when you want it to, God will never give it to you.
Truth #5: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…”-Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)There is a time for every season. God’s timing is everything. We may be going through difficult circumstances. We may wish they could just be over but we run the risk on missing out on the things God may be trying to grow us in. Just as God’s plans are always perfect, his timing is too.
The list of lies the enemy whispers to us is endless however, the list of God’s truth out numbers it a million to one. God has already won the battle, so let him fight yours for you. Even when we don’t get what we want, when we want it, God’s plan is so much better. We can’t imagine it because we can only see the elephant in front of us. When our kids want to eat handfuls of candy everyday we tell them no. Why? Because they need food that will keep their bodies healthy. Food that will nourish and replenish them. Food that will truly satisfy them. They may not understand why but we tell them “trust me, mama knows best” and we do! God doesn’t want us eating handfuls of candy either. He knows the “nourishing food” each one of us need in our own lives. Maybe the thing we want is good but God’s timing isn’t always our timing. We must trust that he does know whats best for us. When you think about it God knows our entire future and he wants whats best for us, right? We don’t know what our future holds, but we think we know whats best for ourselves most of the time. If we are being honest with ourselves how could we not trust he knows best-when he already knows everything that will happen to us?! Who better to lead us that the God of the universe who already mapped out our steps?
Thank you for never giving up on us. For hearing our prayers. For caring about our dreams. For listening to our hearts desires. Father I pray That you would keep the lies of the enemy far from our minds. That your voice would be the loudest and the only one we hear. Help us to trust you. To remember that your plan is so much better than our own. Help us to be patient while we are waiting. To remember that you do love us and care for us. Thank you for all that you do, have done, and continue to do for us. In Jesus precious name we pray.